Keepin' it real

Sometimes we women look at other women and think they have it all together. We put other families on pedestals and think they are perfect. We read other blogs and think we can't measure up. We wish we were perfect. We compare and fall short. I do it. Kimber does it (thanks for the reminder, Kimber!) If you are honest, you do it too.

Do you want to know the truth? None of us are perfect. None. My own imperfections are ridiculously obvious to me. In case my imperfectness is not obvious to the rest of you (and for the sake of keepin' in real) I'll just share with you a few. Mind you, these are a few imperfections I've noticed just within the past month. If we were to go back over the past year, we would have a book on our hands.

• I re-joined Jazzercise a month ago because they offered a killer deal for the rest of the year. I've only gone 4 times total since re-joining. I laugh at myself the entire time I am there because I have obviously lost my groove (if I ever had one).
• I haven't mopped my kitchen floor in over a month. Spot cleaned - but not mopped. Eww, I know.
• I bought Joey a small Merritt's cake for his birthday. I had to come to a sudden stop in the car driving home and the box fell to the floor and tipped the cake. I cussed. (I can't believe I just admitted that!) Seriously, I'm not a cusser.
• Sometimes at church, I forget to focus on God.
• I checked my email after posting our family photo shoot pictures to facebook and found I had something like 30 new emails from people commenting how much they like them. I got all proud and puffed up for a while, like that kind of thing actually mattered.
• There is still a slight hint of sadness (almost like when the opposing team scores a point) when I hear of yet another friend of mine that is planning to homeschool. I thought I was over that, but apparently not. (Homeschool friends - don't hate me. I'm sorry. You know I love y'all and believe you are seeking what the Lord wants for your family. It's just lonely on the "other team.")
• I still struggle with acne. Now the battle against wrinkles has begun. How is it possible that both those problems co-exist in me?
• I've done a horrible job on my New Year's resolution to memorize two scriptures a month. I have 5 verses written on my spiral bound index cards. By now, I should have 18.
• I stick my foot in my mouth. All. The. Time.
• I don't have many friends. Of those friends, only a small few actually pursue spending time with me.

Okay. That is just a few. I AM SO NOT PERFECT. Don't EVER think that I am.

But you know what? God uses my imperfections to teach me things, if I let him.

• When I beat myself up for failing to exercise, He reminds me that exercising spiritually is more important. Then He kicks me in the pants and tells me to go get in the Word.
• When I fail to clean house, He says "let me clean your house" (and he doesn't mean the structure). He mops up some yucky messes in the process. He also introduces me to the Swiffer WetJet - my new best friend. I bought one this morning and it is the bomb. :)
• When I let trash come out of my mouth, he let's me taste it.
• When I forget to focus on God and get distracted by vain things like positive facebook comments from people, He directs these lyrics to be sung at church - Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, Save in the death of Christ my God! All the vain things that charm me most, I sacrifice them to His blood.
• When I turn the homeschool thing into a game with "teams," He sends me to the bench and tells me I'm an idiot. (Okay, so He probably wouldn't say "idiot," but he definitely shouts "Stop it! You are being silly! There are no teams! Now get over it or I'll dock your team 20 points!" Then He and I laugh at my immaturity.) :)
• When I find more zits or wrinkles, He leans over to Joey and says "that keeps her humble...but tell her you love her anyway" and that always makes my day.
• When I fail to memorize His Word the way I resolved, He prompts me to pick simple verses that I kind of already sort of know but need to be reminded of on a daily basis so I write out 18 of them on my spiral note cards and get to work.
• When I stick my foot in my mouth, He takes my foot out and pinches my lips together. Be still, he says. Stop it. Just listen for a while. Shut it.
• When I think I don't have many friends, He reminds me He is enough. (I keep reminding Him that Kyle and Vanessa are leaving in January and my life will be lacking something when they leave, just in case he has forgotten.) Then He sends a friend to call or email or ask me to lunch. He is enough.

Each one of my weakness or imperfections, He uses along the way. He teaches me through them. He offers grace in place of scorn. I am humbled. I am not perfect. But because I am not, he gets the credit. He uses my history to bring me one step closer to my destiny. (Thank you, Beth Moore Esther study.) These are the verses that spoke to my heart yesterday:

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one my boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

~ 1 Corinthians 1:26-31