It was Mrs. White, In the Kitchen, With the Knife

It all started with an onion. The crock pot recipe called for onion slices to be placed on the bottom of the crock pot before the other ingredients were added.

So there I was at 8:30 AM cutting a white onion. We all know what happens when you cut an onion. You cry. This particular onion must have been packed with extra "make-um-cry" vapors because it sure did a number on me. It even made Hannah cry and she wasn't even doing the cutting.

But we recovered. I refreshed my makeup and we headed out the door to Bible Study. When prayer time came, we split up into pairs. As I listened to my dear prayer partner pray over me, my tears came back...with a vengeance. Granted, I was in need of some really heavy prayer and a good cry, but these were not presentable tears. These were the kind of tears that make everyone wonder what is going on with that weird girl who got all red and splotchy and whose eyes won't stop leaking. That was me today. Mrs. Peacock's nervous soup-slurping is nothing compared to my nervous crying.

This afternoon, I dreaded going home. I didn't dread being home, just going home. You see, going home entails pulling into my driveway and pulling into my driveway means I have to look at my neighbors house. My neighbor's house could win a prize for the worst kept house on the planet right now. Seriously. Every time I pull into my driveway...Well, let's just put it like this...Flames...Flames...On the side of my face...

Something like this:

Honestly though, I am trying to love and not hate my neighbors. I have, however, been telling God that it would be a WHOLE lot easier to love my neighbors if He would just make the trees I planted between our houses grow faster. MUCH faster. Thankyouverymuch. So today I took a detour through a new neighborhood on my way home just to look for any houses for sale. Hannah thought we were lost and started crying.

Joey called on his way home from work. I told him about our numerous crying fits of the day. He immediately launched into telling me how to fix my problems. I didn't want a Professor Plum to fix my problems. I just wanted sympathy. He made me cry some more. Sheesh.

A singing telegram showed up at our door. No. Wait. That would just be weird. But we did load up in the car and deliver a meal (let's just call it an "eating telegram") to our friends who just had a baby. I didn't cry at their house. In fact, it lifted me out of my little funk to visit with them. When we left their house, I didn't feel like crying anymore.

Then it hit me. The onion went with the meal that I delivered. The onion did it.

That's when I called the game.

It was Mrs. White (the onion), In the Kitchen, With the Knife.

If you have no CLUE what I am talking about, get a CLUE or just watch this CLUE.

You might laugh. I hope you don't cry.

Whatever you do, don't cut onions at 8:30 in the morning.

Keepin' it real

Sometimes we women look at other women and think they have it all together. We put other families on pedestals and think they are perfect. We read other blogs and think we can't measure up. We wish we were perfect. We compare and fall short. I do it. Kimber does it (thanks for the reminder, Kimber!) If you are honest, you do it too.

Do you want to know the truth? None of us are perfect. None. My own imperfections are ridiculously obvious to me. In case my imperfectness is not obvious to the rest of you (and for the sake of keepin' in real) I'll just share with you a few. Mind you, these are a few imperfections I've noticed just within the past month. If we were to go back over the past year, we would have a book on our hands.

• I re-joined Jazzercise a month ago because they offered a killer deal for the rest of the year. I've only gone 4 times total since re-joining. I laugh at myself the entire time I am there because I have obviously lost my groove (if I ever had one).
• I haven't mopped my kitchen floor in over a month. Spot cleaned - but not mopped. Eww, I know.
• I bought Joey a small Merritt's cake for his birthday. I had to come to a sudden stop in the car driving home and the box fell to the floor and tipped the cake. I cussed. (I can't believe I just admitted that!) Seriously, I'm not a cusser.
• Sometimes at church, I forget to focus on God.
• I checked my email after posting our family photo shoot pictures to facebook and found I had something like 30 new emails from people commenting how much they like them. I got all proud and puffed up for a while, like that kind of thing actually mattered.
• There is still a slight hint of sadness (almost like when the opposing team scores a point) when I hear of yet another friend of mine that is planning to homeschool. I thought I was over that, but apparently not. (Homeschool friends - don't hate me. I'm sorry. You know I love y'all and believe you are seeking what the Lord wants for your family. It's just lonely on the "other team.")
• I still struggle with acne. Now the battle against wrinkles has begun. How is it possible that both those problems co-exist in me?
• I've done a horrible job on my New Year's resolution to memorize two scriptures a month. I have 5 verses written on my spiral bound index cards. By now, I should have 18.
• I stick my foot in my mouth. All. The. Time.
• I don't have many friends. Of those friends, only a small few actually pursue spending time with me.

Okay. That is just a few. I AM SO NOT PERFECT. Don't EVER think that I am.

But you know what? God uses my imperfections to teach me things, if I let him.

• When I beat myself up for failing to exercise, He reminds me that exercising spiritually is more important. Then He kicks me in the pants and tells me to go get in the Word.
• When I fail to clean house, He says "let me clean your house" (and he doesn't mean the structure). He mops up some yucky messes in the process. He also introduces me to the Swiffer WetJet - my new best friend. I bought one this morning and it is the bomb. :)
• When I let trash come out of my mouth, he let's me taste it.
• When I forget to focus on God and get distracted by vain things like positive facebook comments from people, He directs these lyrics to be sung at church - Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, Save in the death of Christ my God! All the vain things that charm me most, I sacrifice them to His blood.
• When I turn the homeschool thing into a game with "teams," He sends me to the bench and tells me I'm an idiot. (Okay, so He probably wouldn't say "idiot," but he definitely shouts "Stop it! You are being silly! There are no teams! Now get over it or I'll dock your team 20 points!" Then He and I laugh at my immaturity.) :)
• When I find more zits or wrinkles, He leans over to Joey and says "that keeps her humble...but tell her you love her anyway" and that always makes my day.
• When I fail to memorize His Word the way I resolved, He prompts me to pick simple verses that I kind of already sort of know but need to be reminded of on a daily basis so I write out 18 of them on my spiral note cards and get to work.
• When I stick my foot in my mouth, He takes my foot out and pinches my lips together. Be still, he says. Stop it. Just listen for a while. Shut it.
• When I think I don't have many friends, He reminds me He is enough. (I keep reminding Him that Kyle and Vanessa are leaving in January and my life will be lacking something when they leave, just in case he has forgotten.) Then He sends a friend to call or email or ask me to lunch. He is enough.

Each one of my weakness or imperfections, He uses along the way. He teaches me through them. He offers grace in place of scorn. I am humbled. I am not perfect. But because I am not, he gets the credit. He uses my history to bring me one step closer to my destiny. (Thank you, Beth Moore Esther study.) These are the verses that spoke to my heart yesterday:

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one my boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

~ 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

100 Things about Joey (written by Kelly)

A number of years ago, Joey wrote 100 Things about Kelly. Shortly after, Kelly began writing 100 Things about Joey. It was harder than she thought. She forgot about it for a while.

Then Joey's birthday came along and Kelly decided it was high time she finished the 100 Things.

So she did. Click HERE to view the link.

Or just read them below...

100 Things about Joey (written by Kelly)

1. You regularly use big words that normal people don't know.
2. You run outside when you hear an airplane go overhead.
3. You can tell exactly what kind of plane it is (even when it's just a speck).
4. You like to try new things.
5. You make me try new things.
6. You Are My Only One.
7. You like to get lots of pity when you are sick.
8. You like sports but you're not obsessed with them.
9. You are humble.
10. You make me laugh.
11. You make me cry (the good kind).
12. You pause TV so I can get my ice.
13. You are a really good actor.
14. You can play any song on the piano or guitar.
15. You learn songs just for me - I am the Luckiest.
16. You bring me Reeces and powdered donuts.
17. You buy all kinds of impulse items when you grocery shop.
18. You dress really hip.
19. You read books to me.
20. You read books to the kids.
21. You take Jonah with you to do "manly" things.
22. You take Hannah on dates.
23. You take me on Dates.
24. You can answer ANY questions I ask.
25. You make up answers sometimes but I don't know the difference.
26. You earned my respect long before our first date.
27. You've never given me a reason not to respect you.
28. Your facebook status is always clever.
29. You hate going to sleep without me.
30. You fix all the stuff I break.
31. You make really good french toast.
32. You make me feel smart even when I'm not.
33. You can't make a trip to the grocery store without calling me at least twice.
34. You have a bowl of cereal (almost) every night.
35. You clean our garage.
36. You never make stupid people feel stupid.
37. You wrap sandwiches in wax paper.
38. You wax poetic.
39. You take me on road trips.
40. You mow our yard.
41. You mow patterns into our yard sometimes.
42. You pop my toes.
43. You do that thing with the pike pass.
44. You sing good.
45. You tell me to stop singing.
46. You are really anal when you start a project.
47. You have lots of hair (just not so much on the top of your head).
48. You re-wrote that Lanyard poem for me.
49. You make me feel special.
50. You once made a jet pack out of a backpack and a kite.
51. You still like to watch cartoons.
52. You write like Dave Barry.
53. You sometimes get the giggles.
54. You explain things until I tell you to stop.
55. You always roll the sleeves of your long sleeve shirts.
56. You have the best taste in music.
57. You are really glad we only have two kids.
58. You savor each moment of life.
59. You floss twice a day.
60. You own more shoes than me.
61. You took rocks from the Colosseum.
62. You took grass from the grassy knoll.
63. You taught me to love Star Wars.
64. You give me strong hugs.
65. You order strange things at restaurants.
66. You appreciate fine foods.
67. You compliment my cooking anyway.
68. You have a quick wit.
69. You hate being home alone.
70. Your dream job would be to write for a Pixar movie.
71. You are overly considerate of others at the grocery store.
72. You make fun of my "headaches."
73. You pursued dentistry because you heard they make the best husbands.
74. You became the best husband.
75. You're a great dentist.
76. You are a science geek.
77. Your favorite color is the blue color of the lights used on airport runways.
78. You choke up at patriotic things.
79. You are not allergic to peanuts anymore.
80. You frequently sneak ice cream from the freezer.
81. You always want to tell me your dreams.
82. You make me listen even when I tell you I don't want to hear them.
83. You are a genius.
84. You thought Leonard got saved.
85. You are still afraid of Large Marge.
86. You are my best friend.
87. Your dream car would be either a Jeep Grand Wagoneer or a DeLorean.
88. You take forever to do things, but you do it right.
89. You make that one turtle face.
90. You do a pretty good Grinch imitation.
91. You let me cut your hair.
92. You go through deodorant faster than anyone.
93. You told me to go get the fishing pole and I did.
94. You remember trivial things.
95. You forget names.
96. You play toilet paper tag in the backyard.
97. You invent things.
98. You love the Lord.
99. You love our kids.
100. You love me.

Happy Birthday Joey!

(also, thank you Amber, for reminding me about the 100 Things)

Photo Shoot

We asked our friend Sarah from Sarah's Adventures to do a photo shoot of our family. OH. MY. GOODNESS. You would not believe the awesomeness of the pictures she took for us.

I seriously have no way of picking just one favorite or even ten favorites. I love them all. I created a little video of most of the photos to share. Check it out...

Grumble Grumble Grumble. I just watched it and the music doesn't last as long as the pictures. Don't stop watching when the music ends because you'll miss some good stuff. Maybe I will fix that problem tomorrow. It's late and I'm going to bed.

But just in case the video doesn't load for you (or you don't have three minutes to spare, in which case, I will no longer call you my friend - hahaha), here is a sampling:

I even turned one of my favorites into an old looking Polaroid just for fun. How cool is that?

If you are looking for a great photographer in the Tulsa area, I highly recommend Sarah. She is fun, creative and super talented. Check out her blog HERE.

Tickle Me Tuesday

A random assortment of things that tickled me...

There are certain words we just don't say. But sometimes it is okay to say those words. This was filmed with our Flip Video at the OKC Zoo a few weeks ago.

My husband cracks me up. The picture to the left is his current facebook profile photo. His facebook updates are another thing that give me a chuckle. Here is a sampling:

Joseph is looking for a different word for "thesaurus"

Joseph is about to meaux.

Joseph had a dream that a friend repeatedly shot at me with a machine gun. Hope no one is feeling ironical.

Joseph is going to multi-task: read Philippians and Phloss

Joseph Note to self: Next time either turn off the 5:30 am automatic sprinkler or don't pitch the tent directly over and between the sprinkler heads.

(I begged him to blog about that last one, but it didn't happen. I tried.)

Another thing that tickled me last week was this part of an email from Jonah's teacher:

I have really enjoyed getting to know Jonah – he is very creative and really analyzes what he hears. A few times I’ve teased him about something and he wasn’t quite sure how to take that! He asked if I would tie his shoe so I asked him if he had $5 to pay me (joking!!). He was very seriously counting in his head and he said,”’Well, I think I can afford it!” I felt so bad and said, “Jonah I’m only teasing you- of course I will tie your shoe for you!” Later he came up to me and said, “Mrs. D____ I had thought you wanted me to pay you 5 M___ coins, and so I was counting them up and realized I actually had 20 coins, so I could afford to get my shoes tied.” LOL it was very cute. I explained again that I had only been teasing and that I would be happy to help him tie his shoes in the future!!

The final "tickle" moment I will share today is a photo taken at my Granny's house in Kansas last weekend. They are in the process of moving her from her old 3-story house to a one level house. In the process, they are beginning to clean and organize all her stuff. She has a huge collection of owls. As a kid, I remember trying to count all the owls. I thought I one time counted around a thousand in her house when I was a kid. But now that I think about it, that number seems a bit high. Anyway, I took a photo of some of her owl collection.

The "tickle" part of this is that Granny insists she doesn't really like owls. People just kept giving them to her because they thought she liked them. And so her collection grew...